Recommended Reading: Cancer Made Me a Shallower Person
A few weeks ago, a friend, a health educator at the San Francisco Dept. of Public Health, sent me a copy of "Cancer Made Me a Shallower Person: a Memoir in Comics" by Miriam Engelberg, a San Francisco cartoonist. I 1st saw her cartoons entitled "Planet 501c3", very funny & astute observations about the world of non-profits (which I had been working in for a number of years). I both laughed out loud and cried reading this memoir, many of her observations & experiences about her own breast cancer experience hit home. I would highly recommend it for both breast cancer patients/survivors and those who care about them.
When people say I'm brave dealing with cancer, I have to say that Miriam is even braver to bare it all out in a very public way. I know other people would prefer to keep their diagnosis private. It's just so hard to face issues of one's own mortality. This past weekend, a mother lost her life trying to save her son from drowning off a Kauai beach. She had rescued one son & went back to try save her other son, whose body still hasn't been found. I was just so sad hearing about it. I would do everything I could to save my children from any harm, and going through chemo to increase my chances to live longer wasn't really a "choice", just like that mother who had to save her children, you do what you have to do.
So I try to live in the present as much as possible. If I think too much about the possibility of a recurrence and having my life cut short, it would be too depressing & stressful. But everyday, when I face the mirror, the void & scar where my left breast used to be and my bald head are constant reminders. A friend asked me if I'm "out of the woods" since I had negative lymph nodes & my tumor was assessed at stage 1. I told her no, because there was a possibility that undetectable microscopic cancerous cells might've migrated elsewhere, that's why aggressive chemo was recommended. Are people ever "cured" of cancer? In most cases, it's more accurate to say they're in remission, since you have to remain vigilant for years after the initial treatment. I've met several other cancer patients during my chemo sessions whose cancer had metasticized to other organs, and another whose breast cancer came back after 25 years.
Today I had another follow-up with my Kaiser oncologist, Dr. Norman Levey, who flies in once a week from Oahu. He recommended keeping my port-a-cath in for several years since the greatest likelihood of a recurrence is during the 1st 3 years after treatment, and it would save me from having another one implanted. I asked if I needed to do any MRIs other other scans, but he said I wouldn't need to undergo high-tech scans unless blood tests or other symptoms warranted them. After my 1st Taxol treatment last Friday, which took nearly 5 hours to administer, my nausea isn't as bad as from the AC treatments. My appetite is close to normal, but I think neuropathy, or nerve damage, is starting up because I'm feeling weird tingling sensations in my feet (hopefully it's reversable after the treatments). I'm taking medication to prevent joint & muscle pain from the Taxol, but it makes me drowsy. I still have to be concerned about my white blood counts & infections, so I still inject myself with Neupogen but stop when I get back aches. I told my doctor that I've stopped taking mushroom supplements since they might be affecting my liver enzyme tests.
Kailee also had his 1 year check-up today. He couldn't get the chicken pox vaccine since it's a live vaccine & I might get infected from him if I haven't already been exposed in childhood. My mom couldn't remember & neither could I, so to play it safe, they'll delay the shot for another few months. But overall, his check-up went OK. He's 20 lbs. now & somewhat "slim" but healthy. We're very thankful for that!
When people say I'm brave dealing with cancer, I have to say that Miriam is even braver to bare it all out in a very public way. I know other people would prefer to keep their diagnosis private. It's just so hard to face issues of one's own mortality. This past weekend, a mother lost her life trying to save her son from drowning off a Kauai beach. She had rescued one son & went back to try save her other son, whose body still hasn't been found. I was just so sad hearing about it. I would do everything I could to save my children from any harm, and going through chemo to increase my chances to live longer wasn't really a "choice", just like that mother who had to save her children, you do what you have to do.
So I try to live in the present as much as possible. If I think too much about the possibility of a recurrence and having my life cut short, it would be too depressing & stressful. But everyday, when I face the mirror, the void & scar where my left breast used to be and my bald head are constant reminders. A friend asked me if I'm "out of the woods" since I had negative lymph nodes & my tumor was assessed at stage 1. I told her no, because there was a possibility that undetectable microscopic cancerous cells might've migrated elsewhere, that's why aggressive chemo was recommended. Are people ever "cured" of cancer? In most cases, it's more accurate to say they're in remission, since you have to remain vigilant for years after the initial treatment. I've met several other cancer patients during my chemo sessions whose cancer had metasticized to other organs, and another whose breast cancer came back after 25 years.
Today I had another follow-up with my Kaiser oncologist, Dr. Norman Levey, who flies in once a week from Oahu. He recommended keeping my port-a-cath in for several years since the greatest likelihood of a recurrence is during the 1st 3 years after treatment, and it would save me from having another one implanted. I asked if I needed to do any MRIs other other scans, but he said I wouldn't need to undergo high-tech scans unless blood tests or other symptoms warranted them. After my 1st Taxol treatment last Friday, which took nearly 5 hours to administer, my nausea isn't as bad as from the AC treatments. My appetite is close to normal, but I think neuropathy, or nerve damage, is starting up because I'm feeling weird tingling sensations in my feet (hopefully it's reversable after the treatments). I'm taking medication to prevent joint & muscle pain from the Taxol, but it makes me drowsy. I still have to be concerned about my white blood counts & infections, so I still inject myself with Neupogen but stop when I get back aches. I told my doctor that I've stopped taking mushroom supplements since they might be affecting my liver enzyme tests.
Kailee also had his 1 year check-up today. He couldn't get the chicken pox vaccine since it's a live vaccine & I might get infected from him if I haven't already been exposed in childhood. My mom couldn't remember & neither could I, so to play it safe, they'll delay the shot for another few months. But overall, his check-up went OK. He's 20 lbs. now & somewhat "slim" but healthy. We're very thankful for that!
posted by goforsushi @ 9:29 PM
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