It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month

You can't help but be aware of all the promotions & activities happening for this month. Our local American Cancer Society helped to organize a luncheon, w/the main guest speaker talking about lymphedema. Even one of the parents (a nurse) who has a child at our interactive parent-child playgroup "Keiki Steps" will be talking about early detection to the group, but I have to work that day, so can't talk about my personal experience after her talk. Anyway, at this past Saturday's luncheon, about 25 people were there, even a husband of a survivor, a survivor's granddaughter & several caregivers. A woman, who had her bilateral mastectomy last August, & was brand new to attending these meetings, sat at my table for lunch & we started talking. One of the women in my "spirited survivors" group knew of her & also spoke with her. I asked this newcomer a question about what she had decided about reconstruction, since I'm still exploring that option, and she said she was going to go ahead with it. But when the other woman encouraged the newcomer to speak to others who have undergone reconstruction, she said, "I'm still in denial" and started crying and said she had to leave. I was just in shock & wondered if I had done something wrong by asking her something that made her upset. The other women at the table said I shouldn't feel bad and I had done nothing wrong. However, I still felt bad about how upset she had become & then I started crying myself! Evidently, this woman has had a really hard time dealing w/her diagnosis & the aftermath -- she was very private & didn't want to reach out to others, so just being at the luncheon was a big step for her. Unfortunately, she still couldn't cope with being w/other survivors and talking about her experience. Someone said you can't "baby" someone, meaning shielding someone from the reality of their diagnosis by avoiding all mention of it, I guess. You have to "normalize" your experience by putting it out there & talking about it. Keeping your feelings bottled up isn't a healthy coping mechanism & may make you feel worse. Someone else who knew this woman was encouraged to contact her soon & check in with her -- hopefully this person won't withdraw even more...

I just got an appointment for Nov. 17 w/a Kaiser plastic surgeon on Oahu. I don't think he does the "free flap" which uses one's own tissue, is muscle-sparing, & involves microsurgical techniques which are much more complex than other "flap" surgeries (so very few plastic surgeons know how to do it) or using implants (which is easier). But I'd like to find out if I'm a good candidate for reconstruction. Otherwise, maybe I can try to get this certain surgery done at a SF Bay Area Kaiser facility. I'd just like to feel more balanced without wearing a prosthesis -- I'm still fairly young & want to be more active, but don't want to deal w/implants, which comes with its own complications. So hopefully I can get some answers & decide on how to proceed or not with this next stage of my healing. Hmmm, if I can get rid of my prosthesis, I could donate it or just let Kailee play with it -- he likes to put it on his head, even chew on it!